Love and Life: Seconds Ticking Away

Tragedy.

One day you can be on top of the world, the next you can be deep in the dumps, never knowing what hit you.

We can’t control who we lose in our lives and when. Sometimes it’s constant arguing and anger that drives two people who care farther apart. And sometimes it’s a sudden death.

However now isn’t the time to be stubborn in your ways. Tell the person you care about how you feel and make it known that if they were gone tomorrow they know just how you feel today.

Every second that goes by is another second that your loved one will be closer to that last breath so why hold grudges and make things out to be worst than what they are when you can make a difference? You can pick up a phone nowadays and find anyone in the world in less than 10 minutes. You can Tweet, Facebook, text, call, FaceTime, Snapchat, Instagram, and more. It’s almost impossible to not find a way to contact someone.

So why wait? Why let those precious seconds tick away while everyone has a hidden expiration date? Why not take five minutes of your time and just say hey if you haven’t in a while.

A simple hi could go a very long way.

Breakups: The First Step in Dealing with a Bad Separation

Breakups can be devastating. How we cope with those breakups may be the most pivotal part of all.

Now of course there are a multitude of different reasons that two people can break up. It could be anything from something abrupt like someone cheating and playing the other person to something more long term like two people growing apart. For the sake of this article I’m going to focus on the abrupt breakup. The ones that you don’t necessarily see coming.

First thing to note is that whether you’re the person breaking up or the person being broken up with, time is the biggest issue. What I mean by that is that the time that you would spend on communicating with the other person. It can be a hard thing to deal with to go from constantly communicating with someone to all of a sudden that 4-5 hours a day that would be used on communication being empty.

Human nature requires replacement. Fight that temptation. The very worst thing you can do is jump from one relationship to another. Sometimes what we don’t understand is that when we relate to another person what we’re doing in essence is sharing part or in some cases all of ourselves with someone else. To go from that to all of a sudden having nothing is very tough. We immediately want to find someone to fill that void so that we don’t miss a beat. Don’t do it. Right after the breakup is the toughest time but you have to realize the importance of finding yourself because if you don’t then things can get even worst.

It’s important to find yourself and be single again just so that you can give yourself room to recover from a bad breakup. Everyone needs those few weeks or months to collect themselves after being knocked down in a relationship. Think of it like in Boxing. Once you’re knocked down you can pop back up, but the ref is going to give you a standing 8 count to make sure. Give yourself a standing 8 count after getting out of a relationship and truly give yourself time to recover.

Remember that you’re at your most vulnerable once you get out of a relationship and you don’t want to just transfer old feelings from an old love onto your new partner.

So give yourself a little time after a breakup to truly collect yourself and get back to the basics. Jumping in with another person is never the right thing to do.

Essence of Time

Everything has its own time. That includes love. Out of billions of people on earth, you belong with one. So chances are that you’ll run into the wrong one more often than the right one.

One thing about the heart that’s not touched on enough is its capacity to be selfish. The heart is very selfish especially for the person who’s made it smile. That’s why when you meet that playa or heart breaker who was so amazing in the beginning, its hard to let go when things go bad.

Quite simply, the heart doesn’t want to be wrong.

With that being said we need the wrong ones. We need them first to play us and hurt us so that we truly appreciate when the right one comes along. Where time comes in is that sometimes we hold on to that wrong person while the right one slips right through our fingers.

One thing that needs to be understood is that true love is not a revolving door that never closes. It does have a shelf life. While movies and books portray true love as something that will always be there, it’s not. People settle. People marry the wrong person. People make bad decisions.

So it’s important to identify when somebody comes along and treats you right. That wrong person has a tendency to hold your heart hostage. So breaking free of that and entering into the freedom of true love is a must. And the sooner the better.

Have you ever heard the story of the two people who met early in life then made choices that took them away from each other for over 20 years only to get back together when they were older?

Now think about if they had those 20 years back and could’ve spent it together.

Respect: A Word Lost in the English Language

In my last post I opened up in a diatribe about ladies not being easy booty. That made me think of the origin of why one would want to do that in the first place.

The answer came rather quickly.

Both men and women have lost the meaning of the word respect. As defined in the dictionary:

Respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

We all know what respect is- we just choose not to practice it. The main reason is because we don’t respect ourselves first and foremost above other things. Some people respect money more than themselves. They’ll hold on to their last dollar but will allow someone to openly disrespect them. Why is that?

It all comes from the lack of self love. As said in an earlier post, Love is the foundation of all things. However if you can’t love yourself then how do you even know what love truly is or how it feels like? Because the last guy or girl that cheated on you said they love you? Sorry, that’s not how it works.

We all fall at some points and wonder where we went wrong and how to get to a point where we’re happy. The only way to do that is to truly get back to the basics and find the love of yourself. With so many people out there being their own biggest hater, it’s not big secret as to why people don’t respect themselves or others.

Lack of self respect is the ugliest thing a woman can have in my opinion. It doesn’t hide itself. It shows in how she dresses, how she acts, how she talks. If you have no respect for yourself then it just radiates everywhere. Same goes in reverse for the lady who respects herself. We’re so busy hating on ourself and letting disrespectful things happen to us that the word itself is in danger of being gone. Why have it if it’s not being used?

So stop hating on yourself and find some love. They say that there’s a thin line between love and hate- well find the line and jump over it like it’s only a millimeter off the ground.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

What does it mean to you?

Love and Relationships: Ladies, don’t be easy booty

Somebody has to say it so I guess it’s gotta be me.

Easy girls are like TimeShare meetings. If you haven’t been to a timeshare meeting let me explain.

Timeshare is a concept of buying points and or certain weeks out of the year to go vacationing. You can choose from a variety of places to go and vacation once you buy. In Florida, Timeshare owners often lure in tourists by offering free tickets to Disney World, other theme parks, or cash. So all you have to do is go to the meeting and afterwards you’ll get your prize.

So you may ask, what does that have to do with easy girls?

It’s actually very simple. Ninety nine times out of one hundred, guys don’t spend time with easy girls (Timeshare meeting) unless they want some booty (The Prize). It’s really the only reason. But the reason Timeshare owners run these events is because you’ll get somebody to buy eventually. The numbers work out in their favor.

A person however, is not Timeshare.

Chances are if you’re an “easy” person, you’ve found that relationships don’t last very long and it’s hard to find somebody true. The numbers don’t work in your favor.

Now some people are just sexually adventurous. If that’s your thing then that’s your thing. Just don’t think you’ll get into a committed relationship with that mindset. If you’re not looking for one then you’re not the one this article is aimed for. For everyone else though, just know that being easy booty is not the way to a man’s heart. It’s a way to get him to fall asleep fairly quickly, but not a way to get his love.

Now I know my brother is going to hate this article especially if some of his ladies heed this advice because easy women make his weekends worth while. But I digress. If you’re looking for something real, don’t be really easy.

Just think of it like this, you have $100. Would you appreciate it more if you found it on the ground or if you had to work 10 hours for it? For most of us we’ll appreciate something more when we put work to obtain it. With that being said, stop being the Benjamin that’s laying on the ground- Be the Benjamin somebody works to get.

Love and Life: What’s Meant to be Won’t Necessarily be

“What’s meant to be will be.”

We’ve all heard it at least 50 times in our lives. What it fails to address is the hard work that goes into being “meant to be.”

Too many times people take “What’s meant to be will be” and use it as a way of putting off taking action for how they feel. They think that “Oh well if it’s meant to be then it will be” but it’s just not that simple. Something could be meant to be and never happen.

Just think about it like this- It may be meant to be that you eat tonight, then you get a great plate in front of you.

You’ve still gotta eat. If you don’t eat then that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t meant to be. It just means you didn’t do your part. There’s still action that has to be taken to link “what will be” to “What ultimately is.”

What that means is be bold, take chances. You’ve only got one life to live and an expiration date that you don’t know of- so go for the juggular at all times. I’m not saying to go crazy with it, but if there’s a person that you connect with and truly fall for then just go for it. Communicate and find out if you’re both going in the same direction then just go for it.

One of the best feelings is taking a chance and it working out for the best. Especially as it comes to asking somebody out or even just getting a phone number from an attractive stranger. I think Lil Wayne said it best when he said “Nobody gives you a chance, you have to take chances.” No one is just going to walk up to you and give you a chance when it comes to how you feel. You’ve got to go out and take the chance and make something happen sometimes. Because if you like most people believe that there’s “somebody for everybody” but you also believe that “what’s meant to be will be”, then how do you explain so many people going into old age never finding “The One?” Obviously that’s just not the case.

So to prevent yourself from being a stat of a person who’s had a chance and squandered it- go after what it is you want. Sit down with the one you care about and let out your true feelings. Because what’s meant to be may not necessarily be. It’s up to you to make it happen and act on feelings and or impulse.

Because if you don’t, you’ll just have a perfectly good plate of food sitting on your kitchen table, waiting for “what’s meant to be” to happen.

Speak your Heart

“Go tell him/her how you feel. Go ahead.”

Raise your hand if you’ve heard that one before. Fact of the matter is that we all know one of the worst feelings out there is the feeling of rejection.

To put your heart out there and not have those feelings reciprocated can often be devastating. Especially if it’s someone you’re already close to like a good friend. Sharing strong feelings and being heartbroken by that person can end up being detrimental to the friendship.

But ask yourself- what’s really the best and worst case scenarios of each choice? Let’s explore.

Best case of not saying anything- You stay really good friends.

Best case of speaking your heart- They may turn out to be your soulmate.

Worst case of not saying anything- Feelings continue to grow until they eat away at you.

Worst case of speaking your heart- Might lose that friend altogether.

This is where the dilemma comes in. Best case scenario is that you find “The One” for you. But at worst you can lose that friend. The beauty of speaking your heart is that either way you get what you need. Whether that’s the devastating news that the person you are in love with just isn’t in love with you whatsoever, or finding out that the person you’re in love with loves you too. Either way the mystery is over and for the ever-so-hopeful heart’s sake, mysteries are never a good thing.

So speak your heart and see what happens. It might be bad and you may be heartbroken but at the end of the day, it’ll be out and you’ll know for sure where they stand.

And in the grand scheme of things, knowing is always better than not knowing. Even if the results are catastrophic. When it comes to the heart you have to be able to just let it loose no matter what. Because the heart is relentless and you can’t stop how it feels. Not even if you want to.

Love and Relationships: To Trust the Heart or not to Trust the Heart?

Fate rarely calls at a time of our choosing.

There’s not much more of a true statement than that. We all have our conception of what love is and the everlasting story of how it should and will happen.

The problem is that nothing goes according to plan. Fate doesn’t care what situation you’re in or where you are in life. We all want that one person to walk into our life when we’re all lonely and single but it rarely happens this way. More than likely the person who’s meant to be can sometimes walk right in when you think you’ve already found the one, showing you an even more true connection than the one you’ve already found. Happens all the time.

If that happens to you it’s important to remember that you only have one life to life and one love of your life. Sometimes the heart knows what it’s doing and who it truly connects with. Sometimes you have to be willing to give fate a shot and go after whatever it is the heart truly desires.

So when it comes to loving somebody, trust your heart always and don’t handcuff it or hold it back. After all what’s the worst that can happen if you unleash true love?

Love and Relationships: Life is not a Fairy Tale

We’ve all see the movies and read the stories before. A damsel in distress, going through almost insurmountable odds. The perfect man comes along and saves her from her peril and they fight through adversity until they finally fall deeply in love and live happily ever after.

That’s just not life.

Well not entirely. The part about insurmountable odds and being in peril and going through trials and tribulations of everyday life is true. At some point or another we’re all going to go through things that are going to challenge us and are aimed at making us better. That’s just the way it is.

The truth is this- fate doesn’t work on your time. Just think of a time when you were in a really terrible relationship and the best guy ever came along and tried to help you through the things you were upset about. Holding you when you cry, talking to you when your mind was cluttered, being there for you at every stop. Has that ever happened to you?

Has there ever been a time where you’ve met a person and you can just feel them in your heart? Where they can say something and you just know what they really mean? Have you ever been in a position when you just sense that they need you and your hearts appear to speak to one another? If so, your life may be a fairy tale, because for the most part- people don’t find that level of chemistry throughout decades and decades of life.

So if you have somebody that you can relate to on every level, DO NOT LET THEM GO, because life isn’t a fairy tale where in the end everything will be happily ever after. Very rarely in life you’ll find someone who truly speaks to your soul like they do in all the romance novels and movies. Most relationships look like train wrecks with people too naive to make a change. However if you happen to find that fairy tale type of love, by all means necessary, go after it and go after it hard because there are people out there who pray for that kind of connection and never truly find it. People who write about love and never truly have it. So finding something real in a world of cosmetic and superficial things is the ultimate blessing. Don’t disguise it.

Beauty

Couldn’t have said it better myself

HeyBeDDa

“She’s so pretty,” the words every girl wants to hear about herself. However, it is what she believes about herself that is more important. It is where she defines her beauty that actually makes her attractive. Beauty goes beyond skin deep. It goes into the depths of a woman’s soul. The most radiant women light up a room when they exude confidence. They shine when they operate from the inside out and they leave you wanting.
The woman who is average in the looks department or even less than, may hide her beauty. She willingly betrays her feminine side as she puts in little to no effort to accentuate her God given allure. She down plays her appearance as it has become an evil bane to be avoided. Rejection stings like a blistering sunburn. She covers herself up or avoids light altogether. While she protects herself from such hurt she…

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