Breakups can be devastating. How we cope with those breakups may be the most pivotal part of all.
Now of course there are a multitude of different reasons that two people can break up. It could be anything from something abrupt like someone cheating and playing the other person to something more long term like two people growing apart. For the sake of this article I’m going to focus on the abrupt breakup. The ones that you don’t necessarily see coming.
First thing to note is that whether you’re the person breaking up or the person being broken up with, time is the biggest issue. What I mean by that is that the time that you would spend on communicating with the other person. It can be a hard thing to deal with to go from constantly communicating with someone to all of a sudden that 4-5 hours a day that would be used on communication being empty.
Human nature requires replacement. Fight that temptation. The very worst thing you can do is jump from one relationship to another. Sometimes what we don’t understand is that when we relate to another person what we’re doing in essence is sharing part or in some cases all of ourselves with someone else. To go from that to all of a sudden having nothing is very tough. We immediately want to find someone to fill that void so that we don’t miss a beat. Don’t do it. Right after the breakup is the toughest time but you have to realize the importance of finding yourself because if you don’t then things can get even worst.
It’s important to find yourself and be single again just so that you can give yourself room to recover from a bad breakup. Everyone needs those few weeks or months to collect themselves after being knocked down in a relationship. Think of it like in Boxing. Once you’re knocked down you can pop back up, but the ref is going to give you a standing 8 count to make sure. Give yourself a standing 8 count after getting out of a relationship and truly give yourself time to recover.
Remember that you’re at your most vulnerable once you get out of a relationship and you don’t want to just transfer old feelings from an old love onto your new partner.
So give yourself a little time after a breakup to truly collect yourself and get back to the basics. Jumping in with another person is never the right thing to do.
My Two Cent on Love 