In the journey of finding “The One”, finding yourself is a big step. Knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are is essential in finding the one thats going to maximize those strengths and minimize those weaknesses.
Being comfortable with you you are is the key. Throughout the years of life and school we find out not only what we like and don’t like about ourselves, but what others like and dislike as well.
The problem is when we start focusing only on those flaws and putting ourselves down because of them.
Remember- nobody is perfect. We all have flaws and things that we don’t like about ourselves. Every single person out there. It’s the one thing that we all as people have in common. We’re all flawed. The sooner you learn that the sooner you can get past it. Embrace your flaws. But that’s easy to say now isn’t it?
Insecurities are like plants. You can cut them off at the stem but unless you unroot them they’ll continue to pop back up into the future.
So the first step is finding the root of your issue with yourself. For every issue there’s a reason it’s there. Maybe you got teased as a child about something. Maybe an ex brought up a deficiency of yours that made you insecure. Some way, it’s there for a reason and you have to dig deep to find out why that is.
The next step is to remember. No matter if you think you’re unattractive, too big, too small or what- don’t forget all of the compliments and good things that people have said about you. Chances are that you’ve heard many more compliments than insults in your life. However when it comes to our own insecurities, compliments become white noise- all blended together like a tear in the ocean. Don’t let that happen. Remember every compliment you’ve ever gotten about yourself and how much they outweigh that one or few times that someone’s insulted you about the same thing. Don’t let one insult be a worth a lifetime of compliments. You may be the best looking person in the world, yet there will be AT LEAST one person out there somewhere who doesn’t like the way you look. You will never be able to please everybody, so why even try? Learn to accept that you’re flawed. We all are.
After that do some positive reinforcement. If you have to, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you look good today. Look in the mirror and compliment yourself. We all want someone who’ll make us feel comfortable with our insecurities, but how can we expect someone else to love us as-is when we can’t do it ourselves? If you can’t love yourself for who you are, expect that no one else will and expect to be put down for every flaw you have. Because if you can’t love yourself, chances are nobody else can either. You don’t have to like every little thing about yourself, but you have to learn to do two things- change the things you cannot accept and accept the thing you cannot change. If weight is your issue, go work out and change eating habits. If you have a disorder or condition that does something to your appearance, accept it as what it is and know that whoever truly loves you will love you for that too. Somebody who will point out an unchangeable condition of yours and use it as a means of demeaning you doesn’t truly love you. So if that happens, don’t even waste your time anymore.
It’s not easy at all to accept your flaws when most likely you’ve talked down about these things or have done everything to try and hide them for years. Remember that this is a process. It’s going to take a while to look within yourself and be accepting of the things that have bothered you for so long. So embrace the challenge and embrace yourself because if you want someone to love you unconditionally for who and how you are, you must first prove that you can do it yourself. Everybody has flaws, it’s how to deal with them that makes you who you are.
My Two Cent on Love 