In an earlier post I’ve outlined if long distance relationships can work. They can but they do take work. This time we’re going to tell How you can make them work. I think there are seven steps to successfully make it work.
Do things together– Whether it’s watching TV together or cooking a meal, make sure you have your bluetooth on and are doing things that negate the distance gap. Netflix a movie together then afterwards, talk about it so that you have common things to talk about. If you’re a gamer then get on Playstation Network or Xbox Live and have a little romantic competition. Just always remember to keep it fresh and create new things to do as a unit.
Outline parameters– The worst mistake you can make in a long distance relationship and with life in general is assume. Never assume. Define what your relationship is with your significant other. Find out if you’re just talking, dating, boyfriend and girlfriend, engaged or whatever it is. You have to ask the question of “what are we?” and make sure that you’re both on the same page because if not then you my friend are wasting time.
Get creative when you communicate– Sometimes video chat, text, talk on the phone, writing letters- whatever floats your boat just find creative ways to talk to each other. You never want to get into too much of a rhythm when it comes to long distance relationships because it can lead to complacency and taking things and situations for granted.
Send something of yours to the other person– A necklace, a sweater or shirt with your cologne/perfume on it. Just something that when your partner misses you then they can turn to and be comforted that at least part of you is with them.
Don’t be controlling– Trust is the word that comes to mind. In a long distance relationship not many things are under your control. Pretty much all you can do is talk and contact by phone. You can’t just swing by the job and bring them something to eat or meet up for lunch. Because of that, people tend to feel the need to control the time spent and almost overwhelm their partner. Be respectful of each other’s time and don’t try to invade your partner’s life. Asking where they are all times and being demanding is not the foundation of a great relationship. It’s the downfall.
Talk about the future– It can be easy to get upset about not being able to see your loved one for a long period of time. Talking about the things you’ll do the next time you’re together is a good deterrent to being upset and pining away for that loved one. Make future plans and set up things you’ll do when the time does come and you close the gap.
Take advantage of the benefits– Having a long distance relationship isn’t all bad. In a relationship we can often lose ourselves and damage our individuality in order to mesh into the relationship. While apart in a long distance relationship, you can keep your individuality while molding a relationship around it. In a way it’s ideal because while you grow collectively you get to see the day to day operations of your partner on an individual level. So you still get to have all the hangout nights you’d like to have while still spending time with your partner.
Following these steps is essential in having a good chance of having a very loving and enjoyable long distance relationship. If you don’t- then you might end up as one of the people who always say that “Long distance relationships never work”.
My Two Cent on Love 